So...I am just about to wrap up Danielle LaPorte's book White Hot Truth with my New Possibilities Book Club and I just had to share. It's a fabulous book, filled with powerful insights, hilarious stories and quotes that make you pause to reflect. If you haven't read it, I highly recommend it
There are so many great insights from it, that I may be writing about it for a while as I integrate them into my life, but there is one in particular that I feel so strongly compelled to share with you now.
If you are like me, and like most of us, setting boundaries may be difficult for you. To tell you the truth, I don't think I ever even considered boundaries much until I started to do Brené Brown's work. I find it powerful and difficult work. For those of you just learning about them as well, the easiest way to define boundaries is simply - what's okay with me and what's not okay with me. Easier said than done for sure!
Getting clear about what those boundaries are for us and having the courage to communicate them with people that may cross them, is a challenging practice and is definitely part of my daring. People don't always like it when you set boundaries with them and it takes courage to stand in your truth and love yourself enough to take care of yourself in this way.
This is why the way that Danielle speaks to this topic in her book was so impactful to me. She quotes the amazing Lianne Raymond, wisdom-keeper, coach, and the beautiful soul that trained me on The Desire Map. Lianne says "I think of boundaries as being a natural outcome of a person who has grown into a mature, actualized being. Imagine coming to the edge of a river. If the river is full and flowing as you stand there on the riverbank, you are going to think twice about crossing it. The flowing presence is in itself a natural boundary. Now imagine that the same river has dried right up, the riverbed is dry and walkable -- you might walk across without even hesitating."
"It's the same with people. When they are present and full of themselves in the best possible way, there is no question of invading them, crossing them, or walking over them."
Danielle concludes that we're easy to invade when we aren't flowing with our own fullness.
I love this metaphor! It's so easy to translate the symbolism into our way way of being. To me it is true of so much in our lives. What we need most to live fulfilling, purposeful, joyful lives is to be so centered and full of our true selves. To know who we really are. To be loving and true to that. I know, I know, easier said than done. Like so many other life lessons, it's a practice.
But the alternative is to become closed off and armored up, and that just robs us of living our authentic life...the one we came here to live! I also loved Danielle's beautiful paradox she shared --- "Protect your heart so you can keep it wide open."
She tells the story of how she has taught this to her son throughout his life. "FEEL EVERYTHING. Keep your heart open, as wide open as you can. Open, open, open. Sooo soft."
"And then...put a big fucking fence around it."
"Open, gentle heart. Big fucking fence!"
For many of us, this may be trying, demanding, and what feels like the most impossible work that we will ever do...but oh so worth it.
Hiro Boga said "Boundaries are not walls. They are a living container within which your desires can breathe, gestate, and grow until they are ready to be born."
Love that! Would love to hear your thoughts on this topic. If you are inspired to do so, please share below.
Bye for now.